Persona Non Grata...Part 1

It started with a sign...

I was in desperate need of two things, money and a job. The sign in the storefront window offered both. I took control of my life, opened the door and entered. Boy, was I nervous!

Sitting behind a desk, in front of a computer monitor was a man who looked like a cross between a pet rock, and a pet maggot; white, glistening and not moving too swiftly. His nametag read "Studman". I smoothed out my dress, breathed through my mouth, and approached him, right hand extended, left had clutching my car keys.

I squeaked...

Me-Mr. Studman?

Man- Oh yeah, right...(burp) Studman. Sorry bout that, but that's my online name. My real name is Walter Primate. You must be here for the 8-} writer's job. Sit down and I'll fill you in. Do you have a hard drive to work?

I told him I could provide my own hard drive, but not much else. I was told not to worry, he could supply everything I needed to get started, but kept reminding me that I 'd have to pay the sponsoring companies after thirty days. I don't know, something about the concept of "Shareware" sounded unsanitary. I mean, how many people had used these things before me? Oh well, maybe if I covered my computer with lots of paper I wouldn't have to actually touch the stuff.

I thought of my mother. I thought of Lysol. I thought of leaving.

He went on to explain...

Man- You'll be working on commission, $5.00 for every message you pull in, and I get $2.00 of that, so needless to say the password is volume. The people who pay your salary are: the phone company for running up phone bills, the computer company for building their business...Oh yeah, and the shareware company, for the money that you WILL be giving them for the use of their property. ;-)

(Bleck!...did he just wink at me?...I think I am going to be sick)

To be continued....