Understanding the Classics

For those who are interested...

I am currently working on a series of books which may enlighten, if not heighten, your appreciation of the written word.

My goal is to revamp some of our existing great literary works, which quite frankly rely too heavily on innuendo, subtlety and imagery.

How many times have you asked yourself "What the hell is Bill Shakespeare trying to say?"
Well, you're not alone. Many have asked the same question, students, homemakers and professional writers as well.

Yes, words are not enough.

Don't look so shocked!

8-0!

Hey, did you see that? That strange combination of characters above is called an "emoticon",(the fusion of the words emote and con), and it's the modern literary tool I chose to shed light upon the emotional demeanour of the classics.

Allow me to send you a copy of my book-

Shakespeare Winks ;-)
Understanding Great Literature Through Emoticons, Series A, Volume 1

No longer will you ponder if Shakespeare's characters are happy, sad, or angry because with my books, all the pesky work is done for you. Let me demonstrate by presenting a few excerpts to illustrate just how damned easy my concept is to understand.

From King Lear-

Get thee glass eyes

.-)

Finally we get to actually experience visual cues to confusing classics. It's almost like a comic book isn't it? Now we can get to know King Lear as well as we knew Archie and Veronica. Doesn't he seems like your old neighbor across the street, or the guy selling "Outreach" in front of the liquor store? So real, so lifelike.

Simple huh?

From Romeo and Juliet-

But , soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the sun.

8-}~

Always wondered about why the Capulet family was so pissed? Now you know. Just look at that face, talk about raging hormones. Yikes, Even I'm doing up an extra button on my blouse.

From Macbeth-

Out, damned spot! Out I say

%^!

No longer do teachers have to spend countless hours explaining the finer points of dementia. They can clearly see that Lady Macbeth is experiencing a tad more than a hormonal mood swing.

I hope you understand and embrace this concept which is sure to become a classic in itself...or do I have to spell it out for you the old fashioned way, by way of expressive writing. How confusing.

Quasimodem